hmm.

had cooled down abit.

juz now im hurt.

now im TOTALLY hurt.

i cried.

hugged myself and cried.

im always doing tat.

and i told myself.

'suet.. u are a strong ger.. so dun cry'

but i juz simply cant do tat..

Saturday, August 12, 2006

was woke up by a call at 0830 from jun.

asked mi to go work at 1130 coz yun rui mc.

ok lor.

managed to forced myself to wake up ard 0900.

bathed and went to store.

had my breakfast-cum-lunch.

den conducted 3 back-to-back parties.

aft tat still hafta on floor.

suppose to punch out at 2200.

but was damn freaking busy.

den when i looked at the clock.

its already 2300++ liao.

omg.

den took cab home wif ivy and ah lan.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

woke up at 0730.

bathed.

had breakfast.

den went to work at 1000.

on floor.

den conduct a party.

den on floor.

den conduct another party.

and its already 1900.

and its time for mi to punch out.

fuck.

siew wah dun let mi punch.

its like every weekend i come to work.

will work more den 12hrs lor.

den i sae i dun liao lah.

i was so damn freaking tired for these few weeks liao.

den bloody hell.

she shouted at mi and chased mi home.

CB!!!

ARGH!!!

jun was there.

i was like..

i went to punch my card.

grab my bag and walked out.

jun called mi.

i dun gif a damn.

i went to sit outside.

jun came out.

den i asked jun.

'my fault ar?!'

den i burst out into tears.

fuck lah.

she lydat shouted at mi infront at the counter.

she dun wan face i still wan face lor.

was damn sad.

freaking angry.

jun asked mi to call josias and tell him.

i dun wan to.

but jun keep asking mi to do it.

coz she sae its siew wah's fault.

not mine.

she got no right and she's wrong to shout at mi.

hais.

ok lor.

i called josias and told mi lor.

den now.

i felt hurt.

u had worked for 4yrs.

it seems like the first time i kena shout frm mgr.

hais.

i wan to.

but i dun bear to.

wanted to msg jun and tell her how sad and how hurt am i.

but.

ended up i did not.

dun wana disturb her ba.

she is oso tired and stress abt everything lah.

so.

i juz hugged myslf lor.

den

wanted to slp.

came slp.

kept on thinking abt tat few seconds tat she shouted at mi.

hais.

so got up and surf net.

while surfing.

i search.

i saw his new friendster.

and oso saw his new blog.

he is attach.

i cried.

wtf.

y am i so damn silly.

cry coz of him.

he dun worth my tear anymore.

but.

i still felt sad.

felt hurt.

dun feel right.

hais.

and the worst thing now is.

it seems like i got no mood for my exams liao.

got a feeling tat i wun concentrade for my exams.

hais.

its stupid for mi to end my life.

but i will try my best to be happie.

i tot next sat and sun(19th and 20th) i can off and study for my idotic exams.

but jun juz now told mi to help on sun for 2hrs.

ya.

2hrs.

its still consider working.

hais.

wat to do.

my ears are soft.

my heart is soft.

and oso sold my soul to mac liao.

hais.

god plz bless mi to pass my this final exam at nyp.

i dun wana retake or watever shit lah.

hais.

will anyone noe how i feel at this every present moment?